by Bender Feb 2, 2005

She was working in a coffee shop. Or at the university library.  She’s hip, you’re not. But she agreed to go an a date with you anyway. It’s Saturday night, and you’re at the movies.

The first thing she’s going to say after the credit’s roll on the movie is, “Well, what’d you think?” And “I liked it” just doesn’t cut it. You need to sound smart. You need to sound like a real student of film.

Have no fear. Just print out this handy list of smart things to say and take it with you to the movies. Or write a few of these on the palm of your hand for easy, discreet reference.

All-Purpose “What’d You Think of the Movie?” Answers

1. How many times must we explore Kafka’s themes?
2. The subtext, while clearly post-modern, illuminated mostly
   pre-cold war social mores.
3. Kafka said it best, didn’t he?
4. Kafkaesque
5. Kafka-like
6. Post-Kafka Kafka
7. A latter day Kafka
8. Yes, it was voilent, but it was voilence as mirror, or as the
   French say, Soup Du Jour, s’il vous plait
9. Cinematographically Technophobica-Sensographic. But you know that
   already.
10. Kafka in knickers, if you ask me.
11. A true student of early- to mid-career Kafka
12. Drowning in Kafka’s toe cheese
13. I enjoyed it. In the same way the ignorant masses enjoy the sardonic
    grins of the psychologically imprisoned.
14. Christ as phallus. What’s not to like?
15. Anti-hero phallus worship.
16. Phallic phallus.
17. Kafka’s twitching Phallus.