In premature honor of St. Valentine, the staff at MeZine would like to publicly profess our love to the object of our collective affections, primetime television.

How do we love thee? Let us count the ways….

We love thee more than Jack Bauer loves to kick terrorist ass.

We love thee more than House loves vicodin.

We love thee more than the producers of CSI love their fat-assed bonuses.

We love thee more than Nicolette Sheridan loves botox.

We love thee more than Paula Abdul loves whatever is in her cup.

We love thee more than the two guys in Prison Break are The Hotness.

We love thee more than Doug Heffernan loves him some food.

We love thee more than Family Guy loves to steal material from The Simpson’s.

We love thee more than David Caruso annoys the shit out of us.

We love thee more than Isaiah Washington loves the gays. Way more.

We love thee more than Sawyer loves Freckles.

We love thee more than Ellen Pompeo reminds us of Zoolander.

You complete us, primetime television. All we need is love. Love and a 40 inch plasma.

Separated at birth.