As hipsters like to keep telling us, 40 is not the new 30 and the 80’s are long since over. But with the resurgence of 80s fashion and the renewed popularity of all things Duran Duran, we are lulled into believing there is a blissful renaissance underway. We cozy up to Izod shirts with upturned collars, legwarmers, the Shag hairdo and a new Superman movie like they are old friends, barely changed by time.

Until something violently yanks us back to the cold reality of 2006.

Kenny Rogers is the death of our sweet reminiscence: It’s not the 80’s, we’re not 20, Paula Abdul is crazy…

And Kenny Rogers is totally fug.

Note to Kenny Rogers: Know when to fold ‘em.