by Bender Feb 17, 2005

Everyone loves horror movies. Well, that’s not true. But everyone should love horror movies. If you don’t like horror movies I suggest you rent a few classics and re-evaluate your position. Unless the reason you don’t like them is that you are so terrified after watching them that you have trouble sleeping or refuse to go into the basement.

I have trouble sleeping and refuse to go into the basement after watching a good horror movie. But I still love ‘em. Horror is my favorite genre of film.

The trouble is it’s hard to make a good horror flick. It must be hard - how else to explain the comparatively tiny number of high quality horror films. And while good horror flicks are good for a variety of reasons, there are a few rules of thumb that must be followed in order to make your horror film rise above the pack. Here they are:

1. Don’t Confuse Gory With Scary

   Sometimes, nothing beats a good bloodbath. Guts flying everywhere,
   decapitation, the vomiting of entrails — what’s not to like? But
   these images don’t inspire fear, they inspire disgust. If you want to
   scare your audience, you have to do more than disgust them. So if
   your movie brings the gory, more power to ya. Just make the gore the
   gravy, not the meat and potatoes.¹

   See: Alien, 28 Days Later

2. The Score: Keep it Simple Stupid

   chk-chk-chk-chk. Ah-ah-ah-ah. Quick, what movie is that from?
   Shame on you if you didn’t immediately think of Friday the
   13th. And who can forget the blood-curdling
   ee! ee! ee! ee! of Bernard Herrmann’s brilliant
   Psycho score?

   But like special effects, sometimes less is more when it comes to
   the horror movie score. In The Shining, when Danny first
   sees the ghoulish twins in their blue dresses, the scene is accompanied by
   complete silence. Kubrick doesn’t try to startle you.
   Instead he lets the fright creep slowly up your spine, to wonderfully
   terrible effect.

   Too many movies rely too heavily on the score. The buxom babysitter
   is home alone. She slowly opens the creaky closet door while the
   score grows louder and louder and faster and faster. And
   then… nothing. Nothing’s in the closet. The music stops. She
   turns around and OHMYGODTHEWITCHHASTHEBABY!!!!!

   You’re supposed to be scared when the score is building, and then be
   lulled into a false sense of security when the music stops. The problem
   with this is that it’s just way too common and you can see it a mile
   away.

   See: Jaws, Psycho,
   The Shining.

3. Avoid Star-Trek-Red-Shirt Characters

   In a typical episode of Gene Roddenberry’s original Star Trek series, Kirk and Spock and
   McCoy decide to visit the surface of a planet. They beam
   down with some mysterious dude you’ve never seen before and who is
   lucky if he has three words of dialog during the entire episode. Without
   fail, this guy is wearing a red shirt. Also without fail,
   the guy is gonna die, and soon.

   Doomed characters in bad horror movies don’t walk around wearing
   red shirts, but you can still tell they’re doomed from a mile away. Good horror
   movies give all the characters - even the doomed ones - a bit
   of depth.

   See: The Omen, The Shining.

4. Fire The Special Effects Crew

   Good horror movies never have dazzling special effects. Less
   is more when it comes to making a movie scary. This rule is simply
   without exception.

   See: Evil Dead, The
   Exorcist, and any other scary movie that is worth the admission
   price.

5. Don’t Give Up The Ghost

   This is the single most important rule for horror movies to follow,
   and it’s why sequels to horror movies are almost universally a bad
   idea. You can follow all the other rules, but if you miss this one,
   your movie is going straight to video. The point in a movie at which
   you know exactly what is hunting/killing/chasing/eating you should be
   at the very end or not at all. Once you know that your cousin Mabel
   has gone crazy and she’s the one dressed up as a Quaker
   shuffling around in the attic, the jig is up, roll the credits. Don’t
   stuff in another half-hour of run-from-the-killer scenes. Just end
   it. Or even better, leave some mystery even after the credits roll.

   This is why The Blair Witch Project scared me so much when I first saw
   it². Good horror movies make you go what the hell IS it?.
   The Blair Witch Project never gives up the ghost: it ends with a big
   question mark. The degree to which you liked The Sixth
   Sense is probably directly proportional to how long it took you
   to figure out the ending.

   See: Blair Witch, Rosemary’s Baby, Psycho.

Notes

¹I apologize for making a dinner analogy in a paragraph
that also mentions the vomiting of entrails.

²I first saw Blair Witch in the theater.
Later on I got it from Netflix, and I’ve never been so bored. Never
before have I experienced such a sharp contrast between first and
second viewings of a movie.