The first person I loved who died, who wasn’t really old, was my Aunt Susie. She, like Rick, was brilliant and an amazing writer. I’m not much for poetry, but I found this on her website and I wanted to share it with you:
In My Next Life I Will Be

I think in my next life I will be

sound:

the violins I have learned

at last

to love,

angled planes that cut the deep-toned
air with light;

the trumpets’

clear fast sound

pure as winter, sweet as Telemann;

glass ripples

from a piano;

the bells

that ring the radiance of day;

a sob.

COMMENTS

2006-06-16 10:41:52

Julianna wrote: “…the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’” _Jack Kerouac, On The Road

I miss you Rick .

2006-06-16 11:11:20

B wrote: HI Julianna,

What a great quote. I can’t believe it’ll be a year next Friday. It seems like ages and just this second all at the same time.

2006-06-16 14:20:14

Julianna wrote: Hi B.

Yes, you’re right. That’s just how it feels. Bad anniversaries get close and you let yourself think on things more than you ordinarily would. You think ‘hey… this is ok” for awhile.. walking around to see if your leg is still broken and it seems fine until you fall flat on your face and now it’s broken in two places.

Anyway, I have been thinking of that passage for a few days and I didn’t want to wait another week to put it here.

I hope you are well. I’ve meant to talk to you sooner.

2006-06-17 15:09:07

B wrote: I saw a Broadway play about this mother (the redhead from Sex and the City) who lost her only child in an accident. Her mother (Tyne Daly) also lost a child and described the loss as having a brick in your pocket: Some days you don’t notice it’s there, then you reach in to get something and there it is.

2006-06-21 08:18:27

Duck wrote: I couldn’t be any less religious. I really couldn’t. But recently I have really enjoyed thinking about Rick watching us. Enjoying thinking about when he would have been smiling watching what we were doing or bored, or when he would listen, what he would have thought.

I went to our 15th college reunion two weeks ago. Iwas struck by how few people felt comfortable saying anything about him until they broke the ice, and then they were desperate to talk about him. As if they were wondering if it was ok to talk about him to me, and once they found out it was they were so relieved and then could really let it out about him. These were almost entirely people that knew Rick but had not kept in touch with him. To a person, people had only good thoughts to send. Just a reminder to me that the memories I have are not cannonizing the dead, but actual feelings about someone so extraordinary.

2006-06-21 11:30:06

B wrote: Hey Duck! A few weeks after Rick died, Pete (my other brother) got a spam that had “Rick” in the subject line and then some cryptic poetry that made no sense in the body. It was freaky.

2006-06-21 11:34:37

B wrote: If Rick is watching, he’s freaked that I’m so bad with his programming code. He’s probably trying to find a way to hack the system from there. I’m sure where he is, the Starbucks has wi-fi.

2006-06-23 05:47:21

Strummer wrote: This may be more about me than Rick but Rick’s reaction was soooo Rick.

I came down to Slycee practice and we were setting up talking about random things. Somehow a conversation about fast food came up. I said something like, “I don’t eat any fast food, I just eat Wendy’s.”

Rick’s look said something like, “do you realize what you just said and how absurd a statement it was.”

I can still see his face.

2006-06-23 06:41:14

B wrote: Speaking of fast food… my sister in law told me that when she first started dating Pete, he took her to Rick’s house for a party. As the hors d’euvres, Rick had quartered McDonald’s hamburgers.
Brilliant.

Rick knew he was appreciated by his friends and family. That’s a gift, because as a whole we don’t have anything to feel guilty about. If you can say anyone who died at the age of 35 had a full life, it would be Rick.

2006-06-23 11:25:33

EOC wrote: Agreed. I have a running list of Top Five songs that are Rick to me and at last count it’s “Everyone” by Van Morrison.

We shall walk again down along the lane
Down the avenue just like we used to do
With our heads so high smile at the passers by
Then we’ll softly sigh ay, ay, ay, ay, ay

[Chorus:]
Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone
Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone

By the winding stream we shall lie and dream
We’ll make dreams come true if we want them to
Yes all will come play the pipes and drum
Sing a happy song and we’ll sing along

2007-06-22 21:41:35

Incognito wrote:  Strummer if you fly in for this gig, I’ll buy you all the Wendy’s you want. His memory is alive and strong. We have a rehearsal tomorrow night…..I know he’d have been there smiling about the fine recording we’ve been doing all winter.