Dear Id: Through the Stomach
By Id • Jul 13th, 2008 • Category: Dear IdDear Id:
Who are you planning on voting for in the next presidential election?
-George Dubbelya
Dear George Dubbelya:
Id isn’t yet ready to offer his support to any single candidate. After all, Id’s power is great, and to make a decision prematurely could really make the political waters turbulent. Talk to me after New Hampshire.
-Id
Dear Id:
Who are you planning on voting for in the next presidential election?
-Bill B. and John M.
Dear Bill B. and John M.:
Will you guys quit it? See above.
-Id
Dear Id:
Who are you planning on voting for in the next presidential election?
-Big Al
Dear Big Al:
Not you.
-Id
Dear Id:
I’ve been working the same lousy job for way too long. The hours are long, and the worst part about the job is I have to work on Christmas. I don’t even get overtime. When I travel on business, my company won’t even get me a business class ticket- I end up riding this rickety old sleigh all over the world, with the threat of being fired if I don’t deliver all my packages by 6AM Christmas morning. I have to check this incredibly long list not once but twice, and I get so little exercise that my belly is starting to roll like a bowl full of jelly. And I’m not even going to mention the awful uniform I am forced to wear.
Should I quit my job?
-SC
Dear SC:
I have been extra good this year, SC. I just wanted you to know that. I didn’t mean to be rude to all of those advice seekers this year, it’s just that sometimes they can be kind of dumb, and they need a straight talker. You understand, don’t you, SC?
Did you get my letter? I really really would like that Tickle Me Elmo doll. And if you’ve got any Pokemon Trading Cards left, a set of those would be really neat too. I’m leaving a few extra Oreos on the mantle for you, just in case you’re hungry.
-Id
Id(noun): one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that is completely unconscious and is the source of psychic energy derived from instinctual needs and drives. Attention advice seekers: Write to Id today!
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