Dear Id: Conjuring Up the Past
By Id • Jul 13th, 2008 • Category: Dear IdNames have been changed to protect the heartbroken.
Dear Id,
I fell in love with a guy named Dave when I was 16 and I lost my virginity to him. We dated for 2 years. Dave and I broke up last July because he came to crossroads and didn’t know who he wanted, me or his best friend from the past he didn’t realize he was in love with. He choose her and I went on with my life without him. I thought I fell out of love with him because when I thought of him, my feelings didn’t feel the same. It was like he was just an item from the past.
So I dated a guy named Greg for about 3 months, he was romantic and loving and did anything for me. Then he got comfortable and became his true self. He was mean and using me for just about anything you can think of. I fell in love with him, but got out of that relationship as quick as possible.
Now I’ve been back talking to Dave for awhile, and the girl he left me for is now denying she ever wanted him and I’m trying so hard to get him to let go, but he wont. He is going to hold on to her as long as he possibly can. I need advice on how to help him let go. Dave is the only guy I\’ve ever truly loved. If I could, I’d take him back, and I’m going to try and get him back, because he deserves so much better then her. I wanna be the one to love him everyday and treat him like an angel.
Help me, plz.
___________________________
Dear Needs to Let Go,
So… you are trying to convince a man, who left you for another girl, to forget her and come back to you? Id can totally help you with this. You should probably write this down: take three strands of Dave’s hair and mix it with boar saliva and 1/4 cup ear of gargoyle. After the concoction toils and troubles, boils and bubbles for three full moons, you and Dave will be soul mates.
Short of witchcraft, Id thinks you are the one who needs to let go. Failed relationships are about teaching us lessons. We learn what qualities we like and what we don’t so that we can MOVE FORWARD with that knowledge and find someone with the qualities we like. After a failed relationship, like the one with Greg, it is always easy to delve back into the past. But being easy doesn’t make it right. Ask Pam Anderson, she seems easy, and hardly ever right.
You need to back off of your ex’s business and concentrate on your own. He may deserve better than her, but he is clearly not ready to move on. You are supposed to be his friend and act out of his best interests, but you have ulterior motives. Namely, to get him back.
Id is really good at math, so Id knows after taking 16 then adding 2 plus 9 months that you are quite young. The odds are there will be many other only-guy-I’ve-ever-loveds in your future (Id is also really good at odds-making). So rather than give you advice on how to get Dave to let go, Id suggests you are the one to let go. You can only control your own actions, not anyone else’s. Especially without ear of gargoyle.
Id thinks you said it best yourself when you said, “it was like he was an item from the past.”
He is.
Id(noun): one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that is completely unconscious and is the source of psychic energy derived from instinctual needs and drives. Attention advice seekers: Write to Id today!
Email this author | All posts by Id
Is there a way to ask Id questions without using Outlook? I seem to have forgotten my alias password. I have got a chunk of burning burning questions to ask. Please advise.
You can email Id at mezine dot net. If you can’t use outlook for email, you should remove them from your system preferences and have your other web client launch when prompted by a “mailto”. If you don’t want to do that, you can simply roll your mouse over the “mailto” link and the address will show up in the lower left corner of your browser.